No one ever believes me when they ask what I’m doing after graduation and I tell them that I’m moving to colonial williamsburg to open up a colonial-themed pub called “Doodle’s” (short for Yankee Doodle’s). It’s a fucking great idea because:

• The bar staff is dressed in powdered wigs and colonial garb
• We only play hip-hop remixes of patriotic colonial songs over speakers
• Our live band consists of snare drums, trumpets, and piccolos and they march throughout the bar
• We shoot off a cannon whenever someone takes a shot
• Instead of cabs outside we hire horse and carriages to take people home
• If a British person comes in, we tar and feather them on the spot

But seriously, great idea right?

But, fuck it! (Or, butt fuck it) I just decided to record my own christmas album with my mediocre singing abilities to give to my friends. FUN TIMEZ!!!

Possible album titles:

• “Making the Yuletide Gay: The Silky Bass Stylings of Dan Cox”
• “Christmas Eve Baby-Makin’ Music”
• “Homo for the Holidays”
• “Suck It, Mariah, I’ve Got My Own Goddamn Christmas Album!”
• “Santa Fucked My Mom… Oh Wait, Did I Mess Up That Song Title?”